Da Heck Did I Just Watch?! Truly Bizarre Cinema in “Funky Forest”

Aoi Miura meets the Fuzz in "Funky Forest~ The First Contact"

So the other day over lunch, my friend was telling me about these weird clips that him and his friends watch on youtube at work from this Japanese Movie called FUNKY FOREST. He tried to describe the show to me, stories of deformed humans with weird powers, etc, which sounds positively cartoony to me. I ask, “Is it Animated?” He says no. “Is it like a Super-Hero type?” He says, “Dude, I just gotta send you the clip. It’s too weird to explain.”

Funky Forest: "Too Weird To Explain"

The Funky Forest "Volume" Goddesses

That evening he sends me a clip and it’s of an old guy with extended boobs shooting milk at a girl trying to hit it with a tennis racket, then he starts pulling these alien pod things out of his shorts and begins throwing them at her which stick to her like leeches which are revealed to have humanoid features under their hide…. My mouth DROPPED open in a kind of a "WHAAAAAA!???"  as I rubbed my eyes in disbelief at what I’d just seen! What da HELL was I WATCHING??? My friend said that it would be weird. WEIRD!? This is the most BIZARRE freakin’ thing I’ve ever seen in my life!  Eccentric Individuals, Electronics with Orifices, Placated Fetal Creatures, Slimy Living Instruments, Secret Space Agents AND First Contact with an Alien Race, this was Japan's Cinematic ZENITH of Nuttiness!!!

How To Remove an Alien Leech 101

And MAN, If I thought I couldn’t be more surprised by the movie’s absolute KRAZEENESS, I was even MORE surprised when I began scrolling through some of the other clips and saw actors I RECOGNIZED in it! And these weren’t unknown b-list actors either- these were some of best-known actors out there, like Rinko Kikuchi, Kaho, Fukushii Kazue, Kase Ryo and adorable Crush-Of-the–Day CHIZURU IKEWAKI! What in the HECK were they doing here? Gads, that meant I HAD TO ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE WHOLE MOVIE, if only to see what exactly the HELL they were DOING here! 

Erika Nishikado and Ryo Kase

Kazue Fukiishi, Chizuru Ikewaki and Ono Machiko

Nana Shimoda and Masanobu Asano

Well, in the end, I’m STILL not sure if I ever figured out what was going on, but WOW, WHAT A FLICK!! Not only Did I get to see these actors in the wackiest situations ever, this movie actually introduced me to a bunch of new BABES to lust after, among them beauties like Ono Machiko (whom I’d actually just seen in JOKER Yuzurenai Sasokan), Takahashi Mariko (as a breathy sultry class student named Yoshiko), the adorable Nana Shimoda and Aoi Miura as hapless victims, and ESPECIALLY stunningly gorgeous Erika Nishikado as Notti, the dreamy, nature-lovin’ muse of Ryo Kase’s Extra-Terrestrial obsessed Takafumi!

Pretty Erika Nishikado dreamin' some EPIC dreams....

Mariko Takahashi addresses the Class

Girls like this (and the aforementioned Ikewaki et al) were the primary force that made me stick around watching the movie even as the situations got stranger and STRANGER!! Though in any other movie that got THIS wacky I would have bailed, I just HAD to stick around for these girls...And stick around I did- and I GOTTA SAY, in the end, it was a good thing because Funky Forest turned out to be one of the most FREAKIN' FUNNIEST, INNOVATIVE, IMAGINATIVE, and CRACKY MOVIES OUT THERE!!!

Aoi Miura asked to plug the TV into her Bellybutton!

Kaho as Volume Goddess Omoro

Anri Ban as Volume Goddess Fusuke

Shihori Kanjiya as Volume Goddess Ngava

I’m not even kidding- though some parts of the movie veered off into long, spacey drawn out intermissions (some musical and some literal, yes, LITERAL intermissions), some of the stories were downright HILARIOUS, especially faves like the “Babbling Hot-Springs Vixens” stories with Chizuru Ikewaki, Kazue Fukiishi and Machiko Ono as non-stop chattering salesladies taking a break at an onsen, where a good story is the goal and a tale with no point gets you a beatin’…

The "Babbling Hot-Springs Vixens":

Kazue Fukiishi as Niiko

Machiko Ono as Miiko and Chizuru Ikewaki as Ichiko

…and the OTHER arc I just DUG was the super FUN “Home Room!!!!!!!” stories where the students are charismatic, energetic and outspoken, and their teacher (played by Terajima Susumu in what may be the only non-Yakuza role I’ve ever seen him in) is the coolest instructor any Hall of Education ever had! Every day a student is invited to tell his or her tale in front of the class and the room reaction is never anything short of explosive!

Susumu Terajima as Katsuichi Sensei

Rinko Kikuchi as Student "Kikuchi"

FUNKY FOREST~THE FIRST CONTACT, or, rather, it’s original Japanese Title Naisu No Mori is an abstract Alien + UFO Speculation Movie of sorts, and that’s about as coherent a synopsis as you’re likely to get- for whatever the bigger story here, it’s for SURE that the ride of GETTING THERE is far more integral to THIS ship than any silly thing like a COHERENT PLOT!!  A fun, FUN Movie!!!

Posted by zdorama @ zdoramaagain.blogspot.com